Men. Why do we bother? Seriously. Is it just us, or are they getting worse?
Rape and sexual assault is at epidemic levels in the UK. Rape prosecutions are falling despite the rate of reported rapes rising. Girls as young as five have been raped by classmates in the school playground while teachers looked on oblivious. Some university fresher fairs encourage women to take up ‘sex work’ while others hand out porn culture welcome packs.
We have lost count of the number of times we have heard women say recently they’re giving up dating men.
What’s the alternative?
Julie Bindel thinks you should give political lesbianism a go.
Political lesbianism is a philosophy that gained traction in the 60s in tandem with other women's movements. In 1981 Sheila Jeffries' co-wrote Love Your Enemy? with the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group and "Get men out of your heads and out of your beds" became a rallying cry. Basically, it’s a philosophy which sees the amount of physical and emotional labour that women invest in men and says no.
Fuck. That. Shit.
Perhaps we spend too much time on the internet but we think they might have a point. We decided to compile a list of all the reasons why you might want to give political lesbianism a go. The list got quite long so we made this article a two parter. Be warned. Adult content ahead.
Agony Aunts
These letters.
Men who have sex with tractors
Ralph Bishop, 53, has been banned from the countryside after he was caught by Sussex police romping with a tractor in a field. Shamed Bishop later admitted he’d had sex with over 450 tractors. Police searched his home, where they found over 5,000 images of tractors on his computer. John Deere and Massey Ferguson tractors were of particular interest, especially the green ones.
A police insider told the Suffolk Gazette.
“We couldn’t believe it when we found him in the field. He was wearing a white t-shirt and Wellington boots and very little else. He was clearly in a state of high excitement at the rear of the machine.
“Thankfully nobody else was around, but the field is close to a village primary school so we had to arrest him and educate him about the error of his ways.
“He told us he was particularly ‘in to’ axle grease and the presence of this around the back of tractors was all too much for him.”
All’s we can say about this story is at least he’s not shagging dead sheep.
THIS fetish
Plushophilia is a fetish which involves a sexual arousal to soft toys in which men - cos, let’s face it, it’s almost always men - modify their teddy bears, adding holes for penile penetration. Popular ‘plushies’ include ponies, wolves, jaguars, tigers and bears.
This is a popular sexual fetish amongst ‘furries’
Furries.
Liberal media is filled with ‘fluff’ pieces about this new subculture and how it is DEFINITELY NOT A SEXUAL FETISH.
Furries like to portray themselves as harmless geeks who just want to make anthropomorphic ‘fursonas’ of themselves based on animal archetypes. Many draw cartoons while others cos-play as their furrie alter-egos. The subculture has soared in popularity recently, as reflected in the release of Zootropolis; which many claim to be the first Furrie movie.
One of the most important aspects of the Furrie fandom is not to ‘kinkshame’ other furries. Even the babyfurs.
Babyfurs like to cosplay as baby animals. This seems to involve lots of role play and defecation in nappies.
Check out these convention guidelines, published on the blog of Furrie Swift Fox.
Meanwhile....
Portland City council voted 3 to 1 in favour of this motion. And people wonder why Donald Trump sits in the white house.
This Reddit thread
“Soo… I was at my friend’s house, and he let me borrow his bad dragon werewolf masturbator…” NORMAL GIRL SHIT
We’re pretty sure political lesbians can exclude women like this from their dating pools, right?
Gillian Anderson
We don’t really need to explain this do we?
So concludes part one. Stay tuned for next week when we tackle online dating and all things adult baby related.
If you think we missed anything off our list drop us a DM. Tell us more about the disgusting things that men (and their penises) do.
by D.J.Lippy
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