All alone on Valentines day? Feeling blue with your microwave meal for one and only your cat to keep you company? Here is our list of all the reasons you’re better off alone.
Things men do with their dicks.
When the editor of the Sport commissioned these articles do you think he knew they’d be re-appropriated by the feminists?
Online dating
Online dating is hard. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs. And look at unsolicited pictures of their penises. We stumbled across a thread by Michelle O Shea on Twitter a while ago and she kindly let us publish the best bits of this thread.
Adult babies
Ex England goal keeper Neville Southall has things to say. Like 'sex work is work' and ‘the adult baby takeover is off.’ He got in a bit of bother last year when he offered to give control of his Twitter account to a much-maligned and misunderstood member of the kink community: adult babies.
Adult babies spend much of their time pretending they are infants - doing very normal things like drinking juice from their sippy cups and defecating in their nappies.
It’s not only men who love to cos play as babies. When women do it, it’s totally FINE. It has nothing to do with BDSM - despite the list of rules this woman has taped up above her crib.
It’s really normal. STOP KINK SHAMING YOU BIGOTS.
Honestly, why would anyone feel uncomfortable being married to a man who can only feel protected and loved by pretending he’s two years old?
Pamperchu
Pamperchu is a one man nun-making machine.
He likes to collect and wear used nappies. His other interests include squishing them with his car. But he’s not just a weirdo - he’s an entrepreneur who sells his ‘collection’ on his website for up to $60 a go.
When he’s not microwaving used nappies he found in a bin, Pamperchu loves nothing more than being bossed about by his 'daddy.'
Aaron Bastani and all the lefty dude bros
Why is it that when a dude with #JC4PM in his Twitter bio jumps on a thread, you know he’s about to drop some grade A woman hate? It’s almost as accurate a predictor of behaviour as a beard.
Seriously, do these guys even know who Friedrich Engels is? The exploitation of female reproductive labour is central to any socialist analysis of capitalism but this seems to be lost on these luxury communists. When they’re not lecturing us about how we aren’t doing our feminism properly, lefty dude bro’s are busy extolling the virtues of legalised prostitution. Cos when you work at McDonalds, that’s exploitation: but when you suck strangers’ cocks for £10 a pop, that’s empowerment. If you need to explain to a socialist why ‘sex work’ is not OK show them this article by Laura Briggs.
Still bawling into your merlot? Not fallen asleep on your face yet? If our feminist analysis has failed to sooth your lonely heart, why don't you crack open another bottle and whack on some Game of Thrones. And remember ladies - when we objectify men it's subversive and empowering. FACT.
Editors note. Apologies to our lesbian sisters we appreciate this article is rather hetero-centric. If women could start doing more gross shit that would do wonders for gender equality...
D.J. Lippy
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