Inspired by a tweet by @Pink_Babe we decided to take a look at the weirdest places men put their penises.
Warning, this article may cause permanent damage to your heterosexuality.
Okay, so the Sunday Sport can be a bit sensationalist at times, but still, men do this kind of thing. A lot.
A whole lot. We have the A&E reports.
We decided to have a look at what the Men of Reddit had to say, here are some highlights:
A cantaloupe that I cut a hole in and filled with Jergens Natural Healing lotion and microwaved on medium for three minutes then let cool for five minutes. If you cover it in Saran wrap and refrigerate it will keep for three days depending on severity of use.
Worst. Fruit Salad. Ever.
I carved a hole in a mound of snow one winter and put my cock in there.
4/10 too cold would not recommend.
You still gave it a 4/10 though?
Grew up on a dairy farm...stuck my manhood into the milking machine.
It was terrible
Thanks for ruining milk.
Wrapped a Santa hat around it. ruined Santa hat.
O Cum All Ye Faithful?
A friend and I both have stretched ear lobes. I put my dick in his.
So is this what guys do at sleepovers?
- nat96
The ones with spacers in their ears, yes.
- SCVGOOD2GOSIR
Oh is THIS what they mean by the phrase "boys will be boys"?
Let's keep this on the dl, but I once heard of a guy who put his dick in his girl roommates jar of mayonnaise.
- Slick_T
This is why women need single sex spaces.
Not me, but a friend of mine stuck his dick in a golf hole after he made a birdie. He wanted to show the hole who was boss because he was pissed off due to playing poorly the whole day and it was a tough hole. My bro witnessed it and I couldn't believe it when he told me. Our friend didn't try to get off or anything, he said he just wanted to assert dominance.
- JB52
Dear men. Stop putting your dick in things to assert your dominance. That's rape.
There can't be more, can there? Yes, there can.
An octopus, I was in Greece on holiday and I saw it in the markets and I just... well I took it back to my hotel room and fucked it. I kept it for a whole 5 days, cleaning and continuing to fuck it until it started to smell.
I'm a gardener and one day I was at a job site and needed to piss really bad. There was no washroom nearby or clear place to hide and do it, so I grabbed my watering can and went to my truck. When i put my dick in the watering can hole and started pissing for some reason I got this raging erection. I always knew I loved my job but apparently I never knew how much until that day.
30mm cannon on an Apache attack helicopter. Never thought I'd get to tell people this. I was walking on base after a long night of drinking and to get to my house faster I cut through our hangar were I work and...well no one was there so I whipped out my dick limbo'd under an aircraft and stuck my dick into the tip of the gun...it was magical...hope this doesn't get buried.
You know those air fresheners that are made of gel? If you pop the top off that, you can pull the gel out and it has a hole in the middle. I put it in one of those. It burned.
I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet...some kid over on 4chan stole a skull from the catacombs and was persuaded to 'skullfuck' it by the other 4chan users. I really feel like he wins this thread...
If you are a man and you like inserting your penis into inanimate objects why not visit www.jackinworld.com. Then you can LEAVE US ALL ALONE FOREVER.
By DJ Lippy
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